Lugubrious Libations

A hubbub arises so soon and smooth,

with serendipitous wishes perhaps I'll swoon!

over slightly weighted verse,

or if a frothy stout turns terse,

over the mutterings of fellows

and contrivances bellowed -

through this rabid atmosphere hallowed

and often oozzily gallowed.

Gallants strung from their necks

by their appetite to flex

a salacious complex.

Strewn thoughts mired

through the despicably attired

bar.

But monsieur do not turn a snide eye to their antics,

you sitting a verily reclused dapper hermit.

Provide a self portrait of your socially obstinate creature,

the conversational island lost to wanton scribblings

and grand gay glibbings

of the Savannah beheld.

Here the obstacle tells of two fanciful spells

a story embellished of inner turmoil,

or the outward dissections of a staggering crowd …

… The latter please yes indeedy, the latter!

'Tis the hour for flesh shopping:

bonhomme and sly gent,

creep from each rafter crying relent relent!

Their game a known ploy

to these seductresses imbued,

yet perplexedly coy

and desirously shrewd.

Is the money well spend?

Shall the inebriation dent

the stalwart lock on each feline's foul tent?

To assume an open flap

surely deserves a bawdy slap,

so first draw out a map

to leave debonair demeanor intact:

A bromide oozes out of the chemical cauldron: a line hatched before, now a mere drop in the sleu; voracity confounded, reeking of linguistic ineptitude: would that I could slither over and abrasively question as to the necessity of the word 'like' which acts as effervescent glue in their vernacular, a word to disembowel their vocabulary, gashing and bashing my verbose companions:

Mademoiselle, may I inquire as to the privilege of your tutoring? Such erudition! Such scholarly tenacity do you possess to spout simile after like simile after like another simile … or am I a forlorn fool to comment upon your speech impediment?

And how the inloud guffaws erupt, I may scarcely contain the snarky smile splayed 'cross face! Another monsieur – another please, these goons prove splendid chiding fodder.

Mademoiselle, mademoiselle! Do I detect a delectable knowledge of Mandarin coursing through your synapses? Or perhaps Cantonese be your mother tongue? For the inflection in your voice could only be the like consequence of a dormant tonal language. No? Just the precipitate of valley girl infiltration … oh oh oh, sorry for the mistake.

Ben, Ben, Ben you've been a rather sexist pig, jibing only at the women-folk. … Oh but do languorously reprimand me! In time, in time...

Garçon...eh...pardon...monsieur...may I inquire as to the bloated pompousness of your cantor? Do you possess an air pump to fluff your gorilla mass into the balloon engorged before me? Appendages ready to burst into a testosterone supernovae, torso the art of a rubber knotting clown.

Bleh enough of this tomfoolery, adieu adieu adieu.